Herenow begins the epic struggle of man versus mouse.
Chapter 1
log entry - September the second of the year two thousand and eight at half past ten o'clock in the post meridian:
Prologue
Discovery of the specimen at large occurred not but a few weeks ago, when the inhabitants of the townhouse began to hear sounds of a very ... mousish ... nature, emanating from the walls within.
Further proof of the aggressor's existence was presented by one inhabitant in the form of testimony. This man claimed that during the cold hours of the night, the spirited invader pranced about his body and "scared the shit out of [him]", whilst he attempted his night's rest. While it should be kept in mind that this person's testimony is always subject to scrutiny due to his intense fondness of lupulin, spirits and various inhalables, his enthusiasm and sincerity left one without much doubt.
At this point, I myself became very interested in this bandy-hooded brigand that pranced about on slumbering men and scratched it's way through walls. As the days passed I continued to hear strange scratching sounds coming from within the walls. Hard though I tried it was to no avail. The shadowy rodent eluded my grasp.
Then the sounds began to come from the lower quarters of the townhouse, near the Scullery. This worried me greatly for the Scullery is where we stored our greatest treasures, namely cheese and imperial ales.
" Imperal Ales!"
"That's it!", I said to myself very ardently.
"This must be what the cagey picaroon is after!", I continued even more ardently.
At this point I was determined to defend my gastronomic jewels to the last bit. I immediately went to the marketplace and haggled with a merchant, resulting in my possession of 4 artifices designed to ensnare the very savage I sought to destroy.
ROUND 1
After enjoying the nights breeze whilst dining on roasted meat and vegetables with some capital fellows, I got started readying my pitfalls. The first problem I encountered was the difficulty of loading the contraption with a liquid. After a few botched attempts I became frustrated and determined to re-think my approach. This led me back to the other glorious treasure kept in the Mess. Cheese! Cheese is what this purloiner is after! With this revelation I loaded the trap with a small amount of some extremely ripe cheddar imported from the coast and sought my quarters, anxious of the outcome the morn would bring.
Sadly, the dawn did not bring this entrepid hunter success. Upon waking I found my contraption to be exactly where I left it without any sign of the cretinous larcener.
The crown of cheese however, had vanished into the thin air of a man's dreams exhaled by the demons within his mind, tormenting his heart.
ROUND 1 VICTOR: MOUSE
Chapter 1
log entry - September the second of the year two thousand and eight at half past ten o'clock in the post meridian:
Prologue
Discovery of the specimen at large occurred not but a few weeks ago, when the inhabitants of the townhouse began to hear sounds of a very ... mousish ... nature, emanating from the walls within.
Further proof of the aggressor's existence was presented by one inhabitant in the form of testimony. This man claimed that during the cold hours of the night, the spirited invader pranced about his body and "scared the shit out of [him]", whilst he attempted his night's rest. While it should be kept in mind that this person's testimony is always subject to scrutiny due to his intense fondness of lupulin, spirits and various inhalables, his enthusiasm and sincerity left one without much doubt.
At this point, I myself became very interested in this bandy-hooded brigand that pranced about on slumbering men and scratched it's way through walls. As the days passed I continued to hear strange scratching sounds coming from within the walls. Hard though I tried it was to no avail. The shadowy rodent eluded my grasp.
Then the sounds began to come from the lower quarters of the townhouse, near the Scullery. This worried me greatly for the Scullery is where we stored our greatest treasures, namely cheese and imperial ales.
" Imperal Ales!"
"That's it!", I said to myself very ardently.
"This must be what the cagey picaroon is after!", I continued even more ardently.
At this point I was determined to defend my gastronomic jewels to the last bit. I immediately went to the marketplace and haggled with a merchant, resulting in my possession of 4 artifices designed to ensnare the very savage I sought to destroy.
ROUND 1
After enjoying the nights breeze whilst dining on roasted meat and vegetables with some capital fellows, I got started readying my pitfalls. The first problem I encountered was the difficulty of loading the contraption with a liquid. After a few botched attempts I became frustrated and determined to re-think my approach. This led me back to the other glorious treasure kept in the Mess. Cheese! Cheese is what this purloiner is after! With this revelation I loaded the trap with a small amount of some extremely ripe cheddar imported from the coast and sought my quarters, anxious of the outcome the morn would bring.
Sadly, the dawn did not bring this entrepid hunter success. Upon waking I found my contraption to be exactly where I left it without any sign of the cretinous larcener.
The crown of cheese however, had vanished into the thin air of a man's dreams exhaled by the demons within his mind, tormenting his heart.
ROUND 1 VICTOR: MOUSE
Hullo, old bean!
ReplyDeleteOh, capital! This is jolly good fun! But would it be a terrible bother for you to inform your dear readers as to the cagey picaroon's untimely demise? If, indeed, as I assume, it had an untimely demise? Do tell!, for this battle of wits is one for the books. Bully!
Cheers, mate!